... after this post, I'll respond to your posts in the general part of the forum in case other members have suggestions I hadn't thought of. "Two or more heads are better than one."
its got nothing to do with age or not meeting the right man I do not know why I feel this way I want to love men again and I want to be attracted to them again as I said I'm not interested in women and never have been but for months I felt this way i do not know why its strange well for me as I'm used to being with someone . i have only ever been attracted to men and only men so i do not know i ever felt this way i dated men my whole life . if i see a man on tv who i like the look of i find him attractive.
i live with my parents for now i do not go out or go to work i never leave the house neither do they none of my aunties or uncles live with me they live miles away in the midlands . they do not have it if they did i wouldn't go near them . also no i have never lied about my sexuality i do not understand why this happened it upsets feeling like this . i do not know what to do its strange well it is for me all i want is to get back to men again i miss being intimate with men i have nothing against anyone who is gay as my dads brother is gay . i miss being intimate with a man a s its been so long and i really want to love them again like i used to how can i get it to go back to how it was before will seeking help once this over help me . i just hate feeling like this i have been crying for months over this since last year that isn't good is it . every time i talk to my ex I'm in tears he thinks once i see a man i will be back to my old self i hope he is right i still want to see guys and why should i not worry . also from what i heard as off today anyone who doesn't obey the rules of staying at home will be forced to go home and if they do not do it they will be fined and prosecuted . as a lot of people are still not taking this seriously which makes me angry . i hope its gone before December as it will ruin everyone's Christmas if its not I'm sure it wont last years once people do as they are told i hope not also covid 19 is not flu its a different virus compared to flu as their is no vaccine for it and their is for flu also no one has been in the house for weeks apart from me and my parents . not seen anyone we wont let anyone in the house . we do not answer the door . i have not been outside since December . Boris said 12 weeks im still scared i cannot help it . i just do not know what to do while at home .
i have no clue what to tell a counsellor as i have never spoken to one before and i get anxiety and nervous talking to strangers i have a support worker who i saw once a week but because i have sunk into a depression i have not been seeing them . i just couldn't face it when i felt this way . and I will not see them til this is over . they are helping me to get out but are useless as they keep changing the people all the time and I'm fed up of it . i will change to a different company after its over . they are not helpful . and i do trust them .something in my brain made me feel like this i know it sounds daft but its true . as before all this happened i didn't feel that way . i was usual would a chemical imbalance make me feel this way way as i do not know . as something did or i wouldn't feel this way i do not hate men far from it . thank you for your reply i properly wont be able to log back in after this as i keep getting hacked don't know why .
thing is i used to watch a show called the l word years ago i know i should not of done and i used to watch girl on girl so that must make me gay as i used to watch it as i do not now i only watched it due to boredom doesn't make me want to have sex with a woman as i do not straight women do not watch these type of shows only gay or bisexual women . it makes me want to have sex with a man when i used watch it only men turn me on .
thing is i used to watch a show called the l word years ago i know i should not of done and i used to watch girl on girl so that must make me gay as i used to watch it as i do not now i only watched it due to boredom doesn't make me want to have sex with a woman as i do not straight women do not watch these type of shows only gay or bisexual women . but I really wanna be with guys again .
ok well I guess you think im gay because of this bye
Hi, hon. Please don't worry if I don't respond straight away. I'll answer as soon as I can.
No, I don't think you're gay - you said you have only ever been attracted to men. (And even if you were gay or bisexual, there's nothing wrong with that in my personal opinion. We can't help how we feel.) You said if you see a man on TV whom you like the look of, you find him attractive - so I think you're fine. (I believe you when you say you have never lied about your sexuality.)
I suspect you're not sexually attracted to men because you haven't found any man, recently, that you're attracted to. Once you're able to go out and meet people, become active in your community again, you might find someone you like and then those feelings of sexual attraction will return. I know it's hard not to worry but if you look forward to going on dates again, it might help you not to worry and cry about this. It gives you something to look forward to - which we need.

The covid-19 virus will eventually run it's course and then we can go back to our regular lives again. Until then, I recommend taking care of yourself and your family - enjoying the time you do have with them, however short or long that time is.
I'm sorry you're no longer in touch with your support worker. Is there a counselor or therapist you can talk to over the phone (at least until covid-19 is no longer a threat)?
As far as what to tell a counselor, I recommend reading to him/her what you've written to me/what you've posted on this forum - and they can take it from there.

It's normal to feel anxious and nervous when talking to a stranger but counselors are used to talking to people who have the same concerns you have. You'll possibly feel better once you start talking to someone. Because you have sunk into a depression, it's all the more reason to talk to a professional who can help you.
If they can't help (and/or if you feel that something in your brain has made you feel like this), then I recommend getting a complete general physical exam (when covid-19 isn't a threat anymore). You can explain to the doctor what you've gone through, in case the reason you're feeling the way you do has to do with something simple like a chemical/hormonal imbalance in your body (such as a low level of estrogen) - something that can be easily regulated with a certain diet or medication (such as hormone replacement therapy).
As I said before, hon, even if you're not sexually interested in/attracted to men, you can still have a full, rich, rewarding life.
It's normal to be scared, especially for your loved ones who are older and are unwell. But being afraid takes a lot of energy out of us. As far as what to do is concerned: use that energy to occupy your time and thoughts with other issues, focus on other aspects of your life such as; work, taking care of yourself, taking care of others. Be so busy that you don't have time to even think about your sex life and whom you're attracted to.
In other words, be so busy that you don't have time to be scared that you may never be attracted to a man. (Besides, a lot of guys aren't worth knowing anyway. I know guys but a lot of them don't treat women right. There are worse things in life than not having a man - for example; having a man but have him be inconsiderate, selfish, even abusive.)
I observe the way some men treat the women in their life, how they talk about women. I haven't met too many men that are decent. In other words, maybe going off men isn't such a bad thing.
You can still log in to this forum, hon. I haven't deleted/banned your account.
Why do you think you keep getting hacked? I've been watching the activity on this forum (as a Moderator) and I haven't seen any suspicious activity.
Has someone logged into your account with your password and posted using your username? If you see any post that has your name but you didn't write it, please let me know straight away and I'll find out what's going on.
Or if you feel more comfortable, sign up with a different username and a different password. I'll accept your request. (We don't have to worry about the administrator possibly banning your new account due to it having a duplicate IP address - she hasn't visited this forum since February 28.)
The bottom line, hon, is: you may not be sexually attracted to men until you find the right man. I'm not sexually attracted to men right now, either, but I'm looking forward to finding a man one day - someone that I will be sexually attracted to (and hopefully we'll spend the rest of our lives together). Maybe that's what will happen to you, too.
