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Why should I not force my daughter to wear an undershirt?

My daughter literally hates to wear undershirts inside home but is forced to wear it when she goes outdoors. Now, I am worried about what the society will think if she refuses to wear undershirts in home(and outside). So I am trying to force her to get used to these. But now she's getting separated from me so I asked her grandma to try to convince her. She tried to intrigue her and make her wear them by using words like "shameless" etc. Still she refuses to. What can I do?
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
It shouldn't bother society/people what we wear in the privacy of our home. If it's customary to wear undershirts outside and your daughter doesn't, people will probably give her their opinions of her. If she's willing to put up with listening to people criticize her (in order for her to feel comfortable), she may continue to not wear undershirts. But at least you (and her grandmother) have taught her. Now she's old enough to make her own decisions and deal with the outcomes of those decisions.

Is there any other reason, besides tradition and customs, that a woman should wear an undershirt? If there is, maybe you and her grandma can tell her those reasons (rather than using words like "shameless").
If she's in danger of being harassed by men if she doesn't wear an undershirt, she may feel that she doesn't deserve to be treated any better by men because her father left her. In cases like that, all you can do is let her know that her father didn't leave her because there was something wrong with her, he left her because there was something wrong with him. Unfortunately, sometimes words aren't enough and those women end up in abusive relationships - which is very painful for people (such as yourself) who care.
 
It shouldn't bother society/people what we wear in the privacy of our home. If it's customary to wear undershirts outside and your daughter doesn't, people will probably give her their opinions of her. If she's willing to put up with listening to people criticize her (in order for her to feel comfortable), she may continue to not wear undershirts. But at least you (and her grandmother) have taught her. Now she's old enough to make her own decisions and deal with the outcomes of those decisions.

Is there any other reason, besides tradition and customs, that a woman should wear an undershirt? If there is, maybe you and her grandma can tell her those reasons (rather than using words like "shameless").
If she's in danger of being harassed by men if she doesn't wear an undershirt, she may feel that she doesn't deserve to be treated any better by men because her father left her. In cases like that, all you can do is let her know that her father didn't leave her because there was something wrong with her, he left her because there was something wrong with him. Unfortunately, sometimes words aren't enough and those women end up in abusive relationships - which is very painful for people (such as yourself) who care.
I have tried to tell her the society's expectation to wear undershirts, but she's always coming up with excuses like the people in the old days didn't wear undershirts, people nowadays are going commando, showing the disadvantages of undershirts on the internet...
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
It sounds like she doesn't want to/isn't going to wear undershirts if she can help it, regardless of society's expectations.
A lot of people don't want to do something just because society expects them to.
 
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