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Why do people expect you to talk to them?

Zulstfury

New Member
TL;DR at the bottom.

I was walking to the park this morning, and on my way there, there was a male and a female doing trash pick up. I don't like to look at people and make eye contact with people whatsoever, so I look anywhere or pull my hat down.

The female left going to the building, but the guy walked out of the parking lot to resume trash pickup.

He stopped and stared at me for a long time in the middle of the street, and I got annoyed so I looked at him for a second or two, twice. He said in a condescending tone and quite slowly, "Hello, good morning."

I didn't bother to wave because I hate when people stare at me and expect me to say something to them to acknowledge their extremely unimportant existence. So that made me not want to be polite. Not only that, but if someone thinks that using a condenscending tone is going to make me talk to them, they need to know that it will make me ignore them instead.

So, I ignored him. He said something incoherent that I couldn't make out as I continue to walk to the park.

This also reminded me of another time. I was putting my books into a book house for someone else to read and enjoy. A guy was walking on the other sidewalk behind me. He said hi, but my hands were full, so I couldn't wave hi at first, but he said hi again. Just to make sure that he wouldn't keep bothering me, I had to wave hi. This type of stuff bothers me tremendously. It's really annoying...

And two more experience that will be short. Some girls at my bus stop for school thought I was "too scared" to talk to them because I refused to say hi to them and ignored them. I had to yell at them to leave me alone and to stop talking to me (they spread fault rumors about me before and I wanted nothing at all to do with them).

There are kids that live near me and say hi to everyone, including me. I have been ignoring them for months, even when one of them say " H i i i i i, A a a a l i i i c e (fake name)" extremely slowly and too repetitively.

Why do some people get extremely annoying when they want to be acknowledged? Like staring me down as if I know and care exactly what they want or what they are waiting for. Or looking at me like I am an alien fresh off of her spaceship.

TL;DR: Why do people expect me to say "hi" to them, even though I don't have to or want to? The thing about this is that people don't have to say hi to everyone they see. They don't need people to say hi to them either. They stare at me like I am alien fresh off of her spaceship and wonder why I don't like them: staring is my biggest pet peeve and will not make me like you or talk to you.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
Sometimes a man will stare at us, hoping we'll look at him. But as a girl, I don't like to look at men strangers, either - too many of them think we're flirting with them if we look at them.
If a man says hi, I just say "how's it going", just to be polite (because to me, everyone's existence is important and I can't assume that every guy is an abuser just because so many men are. He might be a nice guy for all I know, :D just being friendly.)

Maybe some guys are friendly to you because they're hoping to strike up a conversation with you and ultimately date you. Ahh, it's a burden to be pretty, isn't it! :D

I don't like to be talkative with troublemakers, either. They'll often talk and ask questions - then they'll use that information as "ammunition" to talk about and make fun of the other person, behind their back. When that happens, I make my answers real short. Then if they insist on talking to me, I turn it around and start asking them questions. (But at least I don't use their answers to gossip about them behind their backs). ;)

When people are deliberately annoying - some kids are notorious for doing that, aren't they! - the key is to not let them know they're annoying us. I try to turn whatever they're doing into a joke or something lighthearted. So for example, if a child said: "H i i i i i, A a a a l i i i c e!" (fake name for me, too), ;) I just say the same thing back to them (just replace Alice with "to you too"), laugh/smile and continue to walk on.
It turns something potentially annoying and negative into something fun and positive. (And if they were deliberately trying to be obnoxious, we're sending them the message that it didn't work.) ;)

Some people need to be the center of attention - it always has to be about them! I know - annoying, isn't it!! :D
And when it's male teenagers/men strangers, maybe they're just "cruisin' for chicks". Under those circumstances, I'm polite but very serious - giving them the message that I'm not interested. I'm like: "I don't even know you, man!!" (I think to myself. I wouldn't say it out loud because they'd possibly call me the b-word, an ice queen, etc.) If someone calls me an ice queen, I say: "Excuse me! That's ice princess!!" - then laugh. Again, letting them know they didn't succeed in bothering me.

You'll have to master the art of having a resting-b*-face, hon. Maybe that'll keep 'em away. ;)

TL:dr: But some people can be annoying, can't they!
 

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