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Toxic relatioships

jastomp

New Member
Hey girls, so lately I've been getting quite a weird feeling about my relatioship with my boyfriend, we've been together for 6 months now and I've already saw some red flags. It is my first relationship and I'm not sure if I'm just overreacting or is it actually toxic. My boyfriend used to get mad at me if some random guy texted me (I didn't text them back), used to get jealous and all angry if a guy looked at me, he used to ask about my past a lot and if there was a guy included he wouldn't talk to me for a day or two because of that. About a month ago we talked it out since he didn't let me go out and we had a big fight. He promised to work on it and he's been doing great. But another problem is that one time he out of nowhere said "I think my waist is smaller than yours". He pleaded to compare our waists but I insisted. He is very sporty and has a wonderful body but mines isn't that bad too, I had problems before, been overweight but lost some and reached a healthy weight. He always wanted me to go to the gym with him but he used to say that it's for fun. Yesterday he started laughing saying all over again he thinks my waist is bigger than his. He started comparing it with his hands and showing that it is. We stood next to the mirror and mine was obviously smaller, he said "okay, I was wrong, but you still have that fatty" and started grabbing on my stomach. I was really confused and he said let's go to the gym together, but when he saw I was getting mad he started saying (at the same time laughing) "I'm not saying that you have to go to the gym, but I want you to go" I got really really insecure but I couldn't say anything. He has called me quite a few times "sarcastically" a loaf before. I don't know if I should take it seriously or not.. Girls please advise me!
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
Kick him to the curb, hon. When he said "I think my waist is smaller than yours", I would have whipped out the measuring tape and found out whether it was true or not. :D

But seriously, he shouldn't have gotten angry at you/given you the "silent treatment" because a guy texted you, looked at you, or knew you in the past. You didn't do anything wrong. Wife abusers and jealous boyfriends act like that. Not a good sign.

"He didn't let you go out"?! So he's a controller too, is he! Not good.

You can tell him that "fatty" is not fat. It's your uterus! (Which it is.)

When someone keeps saying the same thing over and over again as a "joke", it stops being funny.

Does he realize that if you go to the gym, guys are going to look (maybe even stare) at you, possibly hit on you? I don't think he's going to have "fun" if you go. Unless he wants to "show you off" to the other guys so he can feel like "the big man on campus" - having a good looking woman in his company. "Bragging rights" and all that!

As he seemed to improve after you talked about him being jealous, maybe you can explain to him how it bothers you when he jokes/teases you about your weight - especially considering you used to be overweight. If he doesn't stop, you may want to look for another boyfriend, I'm sorry to say, hon. Good luck. :)
 
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