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Talking to someone BUT...


New Member
So I’ve recently gotten in touch with this guy and right off the bat made really good conversation and he’s really cute. And we’re both looking for something serious and have gone through similar experiences relationship wise and have a lot of things in common.
Like having a conversation with him is no problem and is consistent with his timing and stuff like that and is really flirty sometimes and makes girlfriend references. Saying romantic things and poking fun and saying things about future possibilities of dates. And it’s all cute and stuff and truly like talking to him.
Except that it’s only been like three days since we’ve started talking and do want to see if a relationship would work between us, but didn’t think it would be something to approach so fast. He wants a relationship too but it seems like he’s coming off too strong about being a couple to the point that it doesn’t feel naturally or like it’s forced.
I don’t wanna stop him suddenly and make him feel bad but I also wanna keep talking to him. How should I approach the situation without completely shutting him down? I just wanna know if it’s okay to let things move this fast or not, or maybe that it might not be as bad as I think it is. I could possibly be overreacting but maybe it’s just history


Staff member
I know he might want to move quickly as he probably feels he's found a great person in you, but you're wise to take things slowly.

He might be on the rebound and wants to prove to himself that he can be successful in having a relationship with someone.

It could also be the old case of him trying to get into your pants as soon as possible so he; acts like he wants a long term relationship, mirrors the woman's wants/goals, etc., to make himself seem more desirable. It wouldn't be the first time a man did that.

You don't want to "make him feel bad". So many of us women are like that - we're people pleasers. That's fine, as long as we don't forget to "make ourselves feel good" too. In other words, we need to look out for ourselves, protect ourselves.

I would recommend taking things slow. (You can always tell him you've been burned before and you've learned that it's better not to rush into things. He'll probably agree and possibly even mention how he went through the same thing.)
Whenever he moves too fast, wants to be in a secluded place with you, wants to give you alcohol on an empty stomach, etc., you can remind him of what you said and just say: "There's no rush. We can take things slow" and see how he reacts.
If he gets controlling, annoyed with you, etc., maybe pull back on the amount of time you spend with him, possibly slowly ending things with him.
If he's respectful, lets you set the pace, doesn't try to make you feel guilty, doesn't rush you, etc., then things can progress at a speed you feel comfortable with - and maybe things can work out for you both. :)