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Should I change?

Discussion in 'Relationship Q & A' started by LoveClassic, Nov 22, 2015.

  1. LoveClassic

    LoveClassic New Member

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    Hello,
    recently me and my boyfriend have started arguing a lot more.
    A couple of days ago he told me that he wants me to change a lot <- his words exactly.
    Some of the things that he wants me to do differently is talk less about when people annoy me
    or when I'm in pain (I have a lot of physical issues). This question honestly hurt my feelings because
    I feel as if he was the only one I could talk about it with, and I didn't even bring it up a lot, and now he
    is asking me to stop talking about my pains etcetera. I'm a mix of emotions at the moment and I was wondering if you feel as if his request is reasonable or not?
     
  2. Crazzykayla

    Crazzykayla Member

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    Hmmm reading this over and over.

    Honestly, no one should change for someone! Maybe talk to him about why you express your self? Because u think he's the only one u can talk to him about it? He seems kinda mean tbh :/
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 26, 2015
  3. destinylynnxoxo

    destinylynnxoxo New Member

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    i've been through something like this, don't ever change for anyone ever. if he can't handle your flaws and you're complaints then he shouldnt be a part of your life. i would try to talk to him about why you only go to him, but if its just gonna start a fight then maybe he just isnt worth it. you need someone you can go to and who will understand you and care unconditionally.
     
  4. Iamcarmari

    Iamcarmari Member

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    Relationship should always balance with everything.. I don't think you should change just because he told you to change.. If he loves you that kind of words he shouldn't even say it.. .. ... On my point view I cant be with a person who only think about itself and i should do what this person want me to do..
     
  5. Chocoholique

    Chocoholique Member

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    Do not change yourself for somebody, he was with you in the beginning and probably loved you for you, so why can he not now. You cannot simply change, you are just obeying him and carrying out what he wants. Both roles in a relationship have rights, you can allow him to mould you into his 'perfect girlfriend'. He should be loving your imperfections and atleast attempting to help you when you are in pain. You should talk to him, let him have your side of the story as to how you feel and why you go to him when you feel annoyed, and to be honest that should be easy to answer: Because whilst you are in a relationship, your partner should be there for you and aupport you through tough times.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2015
    Iamcarmari likes this.
  6. Iamcarmari

    Iamcarmari Member

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    Yup.. Nobody is a perfect girlfriend...
     
  7. Kellygirl59

    Kellygirl59 Member

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    Be yourself and don't be somebody you aren't
     
  8. macho_isladylike

    macho_isladylike I tell it like it is, and how it should be

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    Ask him to change fundamental things about himself in return? Perhaps stop wanting sex as much? Decrease his need for oxygen? Women like to talk and be expressive, it is rare he will find a woman who does not do this. Direct him to the next gay chat room, he is certainly looking for a boyfriend ;)
     
  9. Rebecca Hall

    Rebecca Hall New Member

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    I agree, you are good as you are, don't change into somebody you aren't
     
  10. rabbithabit

    rabbithabit Active Member

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    any guy that unloaded on you like that is not worthy of a mono relationship with you. he wants a play toy not a girlfriend your health should be a huge priority to a real man