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Relationships and depression


New Member
Im really really struggling at the minuet and i dont even know if this will make sense to anyone.
Gonna try and keep this short and get straight to the point.
The past few months i have just been sooo depressed, crying 24/7 and just not my old self and more, my doctor recently changed my birth control pill to a different brand and i assumed it was that and switched back to the one i was taking beforehand but nothing is making me feel better. Ive been trying to explain to my boyfriend how i have been feeling and he just doesnt seem to care at all, he would never ask me how im feeling, would watch me cry for hours and would still sit quietly on his phone ignoring it. Ive tried to talk to him about it the odd time but he just doesn’t understand and it’s making me feel even worse. It honestly just feels like he doesnt give a shit aslong as hes okay. Im currently sitting on my bed in tears just feeling awful about myself and I dont have anybody to help. I dont even know what advice im looking for tbh just something to make me feel better or something i could say to help make him realise if hes going to tell me he's here for me that he ACTUALLY needs to be there for me when I desperately need him too.


Well-Known Member
I hear ya, hon. Sometimes it's just nice to hear someone say they care (and better still, to show it)!

It's times like this that we have to be almost like detectives and see if we can find the cause. Whatever is causing your depression, I'm sure his lack of concern and compassion definitely doesn't help! I know some guys aren't in touch with their emotions but how hard is it to show some human kindness towards another human being!!

I'm glad you thought of your birth control pills as possibly being the cause. Now that that is eliminated, was there anything else that changed in your life (around the time you started feeling depressed); something new that was added, something you stopped doing, etc.? Even if it seems small and insignificant.

As the ol' ball and chain (your boyfriend) :D doesn't seem to be that great of a roommate, is there anyone you can stay with for a week or two - just to give you a break from him and to expose yourself to a different environment (in case there's something in your home that's causing your depression, even something like a neighbor who just moved in next door who has electronic equipment and the sound waves are having an effect on your emotions, or something your boyfriend did - like change his aftershave - and that's the cause)?
It's basically a process of elimination.

As it looks like you can't depend on your boyfriend to be there for you, if you don't have any friends/family you could stay with, could you go on "vacation" somewhere for a week or two, even if it's to a different area where you can relax in a hotel room or book a room at a resort/spa? Maybe wear different clothes, eat different foods, use different soap/shampoo, etc.? Basically change everything and see if you feel better.
If you don't feel better, at least you know it's nothing in your immediate environment.
If you feel better, you can slowly add each item back into your life and when you feel depressed again, you may have found the culprit. :)

If you can't get away (or you do and you still feel the same), you might want to get a complete physical checkup done - explaining to the doctor what's been going on, how you've been feeling. They can do a complete blood test to find out if you have a chemical imbalance in your body, if you're lacking in a certain substance in your body, etc.

If everything is fine physically, maybe you can talk to a counselor who specializes in depression and he/she may be able to find the cause.

Did your depression start all of a sudden or was it something that progressively worsened over time?

{I apologize that my post is so long but sometimes things take a while to explain. I wish some men realized that.}

I'll look forward to your feedback. Together, we might all (here at this forum) be able to find the cause - and then find the solution. :)

Sending healing hugs your way! ☺


Hi @KImmo,

You definitely came to a place where there are others to make you feel supported through this difficult time. It is tough to go through these rollercoaster rides of emotion that life throws at us, but to do it alone is the worst part. Just know that there are members on this forum who are willing comfort you.

Maybe it can be a good idea to sit your boyfriend down at a set and explain to him that you are really going through something serious. Once you sit him down in a semi-formal way he may come to the realization that he needs to step up and be their to support you. Also, maybe you can speak with your doctor who provide you the birth control pills to explain how you are feeling and see if he/she has any suggestions for you going forward.

Like @Christinegirl mentioned it could be a good idea to seek out other resources to assist you in combatting the current depression you are experiencing.

You coming to the forum to express yourself in this way and potentially seeking out other avenues shows STRENGTH rather than weakness :)

Keep us updated on how your feeling hun!