• Hello and welcome to GirlsForum.com, an online community for girls to talk about anything: fashion, beauty tips, or advice! We'd love to have you as part of our community so why not sign up today? It's free!

Reforming him

stitch532

Just finding my place in this world
Hi everyone, I have turned to the forums for this advice because I need thoughts and opinions that are not influenced. There is this guy, we'll call him Henry. He has had a significant part in my life for about four years now. I always turned to him when I had guy problems or needed advice, he saved my life, almost all of my firsts were with him. But he has changed a lot. He still is the same caring person but he has lost his self. He smokes weed almost too much, I have nothing against weed but everyone is worried about him. He used to draw and go take photos all the time but he never does that anymore, he mostly just smokes. I miss the old Henry, the one who I always relied on. The one who I was falling in love with. I have talked to a lot of my guy friends and they all said I should help me get back to his old self but is that too much? Am I overstepping? What can I do to get his old self back and fall back in love? I still love him I just want the old him back...
~H
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
I think this is something he has to do himself. He has to want to quit (or at least cut back).

Unfortunately, as with other mind-altering drugs, if Henry is addicted to the chemicals, he's not in control of the situation anymore. The drugs are controlling him. So even if he would want to quit, he might not be able to unless he hits "rock bottom" (loses his job, his friends, his home, etc.) and then gets help from those who are trained in helping people get off drugs. And even then, it might be a life-long struggle for him to stay away from the addictive chemicals.

You can show him studies that prove the damage that smoking weed does to the body, the brain, the mind, etc., but that might not be enough. (Don't be surprised if Henry says he'll cut back - and hopefully he will - but he only cuts back/quits for a little while and eventually resumes his old habits.)

Henry is very fortunate to have you but, sadly, loving someone usually isn't enough to help them quit a drug habit. And depending on how much damage has already been done (especially to his brain and mind), you might never have the old Henry back and you'll need to decide whether you want to have this new Henry in your world.
Good luck, hon. ღ
 

stitch532

Just finding my place in this world
I think this is something he has to do himself. He has to want to quit (or at least cut back).

Unfortunately, as with other mind-altering drugs, if Henry is addicted to the chemicals, he's not in control of the situation anymore. The drugs are controlling him. So even if he would want to quit, he might not be able to unless he hits "rock bottom" (loses his job, his friends, his home, etc.) and then gets help from those who are trained in helping people get off drugs. And even then, it might be a life-long struggle for him to stay away from the addictive chemicals.

You can show him studies that prove the damage that smoking weed does to the body, the brain, the mind, etc., but that might not be enough. (Don't be surprised if Henry says he'll cut back - and hopefully he will - but he only cuts back/quits for a little while and eventually resumes his old habits.)

Henry is very fortunate to have you but, sadly, loving someone usually isn't enough to help them quit a drug habit. And depending on how much damage has already been done (especially to his brain and mind), you might never have the old Henry back and you'll need to decide whether you want to have this new Henry in your world.
Good luck, hon. ღ
Thank you so much Christine<3 even with the old Henry he would only smoke on occasion but not it’s so constant everyone is worried for his health. His voice has dropped so low in the last few months and he lost all his friends. He just has friends who use him for his weed. Which is so hurtful to me. When I was at my worst, sitting on my bathroom floor starting to overdose he climbed into my window and made me spit out this pills and took me to the hospital. I am okay now but now I feel like I need to help him in some sort of way. And I want to help him. I’m going to kinda turn to my journals and write down what I like and dislike about new Henry, and put down my feelings and why I’m in love with him... Thank you for your advice. I’m going to keep everyone updated....
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
Unfortunately, drug usage usually starts out once in a while/occasionally but then escalates in dosage and/or frequency to the point that it does permanent damage.

I know - it's so painful for those of us who can see the damage being done but we feel so helpless. All we can do is our best; letting the other person know we're there for them, pointing out what we observe (even taking photos/videos of Henry now and showing them to him, along with photos/videos of how he used to look, sound, and act), etc.

Does Henry live in a state where marijuana is still illegal? If so, you might need to exercise "tough love" and let the police know (anonymously) what Henry's doing. Maybe it can result in Henry getting the medical attention he needs so he doesn't further damage his health.

It's okay to love Henry and not love what he's doing to himself and to you (and anyone else who cares about him).
You need to take care of yourself, too. It can take a lot out of a person; worrying about them, losing the person you used to know. I hope journal-ing helps. Maybe one day Henry can read what you wrote and can understand what you went through and how much you cared about him - when his mind is clear again.

Thank you for keeping us posted on what happens. ლ
 

stitch532

Just finding my place in this world
Unfortunately, drug usage usually starts out once in a while/occasionally but then escalates in dosage and/or frequency to the point that it does permanent damage.

I know - it's so painful for those of us who can see the damage being done but we feel so helpless. All we can do is our best; letting the other person know we're there for them, pointing out what we observe (even taking photos/videos of Henry now and showing them to him, along with photos/videos of how he used to look, sound, and act), etc.

Does Henry live in a state where marijuana is still illegal? If so, you might need to exercise "tough love" and let the police know (anonymously) what Henry's doing. Maybe it can result in Henry getting the medical attention he needs so he doesn't further damage his health.

It's okay to love Henry and not love what he's doing to himself and to you (and anyone else who cares about him).
You need to take care of yourself, too. It can take a lot out of a person; worrying about them, losing the person you used to know. I hope journal-ing helps. Maybe one day Henry can read what you wrote and can understand what you went through and how much you cared about him - when his mind is clear again.

Thank you for keeping us posted on what happens. ლ
Thank you so much! Unfortunately weed is legal in our state so I can’t anonymously inform them about his usage... I will post updates!
 
Top