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My boyfriend got angry because I bought clothes with money he earned

Lanabanana

New Member
So, on the past days my boyfriend got some money from the casino and he decided to split that money between he and I.
We have a trip coming and I told him I needed new clothing and that I was planning to spend that money on clothes, doing my nails or hair and he said this was ok.
I went on to buy the clothes without telling him and I lied to him telling him that I was in the gym, after I finished the shopping, I went home and told him I had bought some clothing because I got an inspiration I wanted to use. He got very angry and even made me feel very bad because I went to buy the clothes without him and also because I lied about where I was. I do understand him being angry about the lies, I was not doing something wrong or something we have not discussed before, he also said that I am now hiding stuff from him, when I don't. I really just want to return the clothing and just give him back his money, I don't think it´s fair to make the other person feel bad about buying things, even more when I tell him that this made me happy..
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
I agree, hon. How others judge us is often how they feel about ourselves. So when he said that you are now hiding stuff from him, maybe it's he who is hiding stuff from you.

The money he gave you became yours to do with as you saw fit - you didn't even need his okay/permission and you didn't have to tell him.

I wonder if he's a controller - because he got very angry when you bought the clothes without him!

When we lie (and we haven't done anything wrong), it's often because we don't feel comfortable telling the truth to that person. I wonder, if he was a different person, would you have even lied in the first place. (You hadn't done anything wrong by buying the clothes, as you said.)

You might want to keep the clothes and "return" the boyfriend. ;)
 

Diommy

New Member
I believe that if you do not have a common budget, then you should have discussed with him the purchase of clothes for you.
 

hannahgrace

Hannah Grace
So, on the past days my boyfriend got some money from the casino and he decided to split that money between he and I.
We have a trip coming and I told him I needed new clothing and that I was planning to spend that money on clothes, doing my nails or hair and he said this was ok.
I went on to buy the clothes without telling him and I lied to him telling him that I was in the gym, after I finished the shopping, I went home and told him I had bought some clothing because I got an inspiration I wanted to use. He got very angry and even made me feel very bad because I went to buy the clothes without him and also because I lied about where I was. I do understand him being angry about the lies, I was not doing something wrong or something we have not discussed before, he also said that I am now hiding stuff from him, when I don't. I really just want to return the clothing and just give him back his money, I don't think it´s fair to make the other person feel bad about buying things, even more when I tell him that this made me happy..
Hey girl I think if he made you feel in anyway that you had to cover up buying clothing and pampering yourself with money that was given to you then that is an issue that your boyfriend needs to work on. Try saying where you went wrong but acknowledge that he went wrong if he made you feel you had to cover up in the first place because maybe then he will come to the realization that it is your money after he gave it to you and your can do what you want with that. Try maybe also talking to him about how next time you could approach this in a new way, eg, if he did not want you to have the money then he should not have given it to you to spend.
 
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