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Living together; no job; mental health issues

Hi ladies,

I’m in a situation I’m very unsure how to get out of. I’m currently living with my boyfriend of almost a year in a studio apartment. I’m in school full time so I my life is funded mostly through loans. He moved in with me to avoid a long distance relationship but he has no job and no source of income.

We have a lot of differences — sexual (he’s unfulfilled by my stamina); emotional (he’s much more emotional than I am); and just overall life ideals (lacks discipline and drive).

This is all in the midst of raging trust issues that stemmed from situations with his ex (he kept a social media page dedicated to their relationship); continued constant contact (in person & on the phone) and messages I found between his friends comparing us (putting me in a negative light)

There’s also been consistent instances of emotional abuse — he throws my insecurities in my face in the middle of heated arguments.

The whole relationship has put us both in a space lower than we’ve ever been in our individual lives, but for some reason, he is unwilling to let go.

I love him but I am no longer in love with him. I would like to break up and have him move out because I know both of our lives would be happier. The biggest issue is that he doesn’t have much money and he doesn’t have anywhere to live.

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with a situation like this? Anything would be helpful.


Staff member
He doesn't have much money because he does not work. Unemployment is the lowest its ever been. Every business in town is crying for help. There is no reason for him to not work except that he is lazy. No doubt he expects to sponge off you when you graduate and start making money. That plus he is emotionally unstable and he is abusing you- which will only get worse as time goes on. I expect physical abuse will follow if it is not already a feature. Get rid of this train wreak as fast as you can. You are is school- you need every bit of your attention to devote to that effort. I urge you in the strongest possible terms to part company with him as soon as you can. You deserve MUCH better.