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Jokes to tickle our funny bone :)

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
Do any of our lovely members have jokes they'd like to share? I'll start.

For those of us who have to put up with jokes about women, here's one to 'even the score': ;)

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said: "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die:
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.
Be pleasant at all times.
For lunch, make him a nutritious meal.
For dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him.
Don't burden him with chores.
Don't discuss your problems with him - it will only make his stress worse.
Do not nag him.
And most importantly, make love to him regularly.
If you can do this for the next ten months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife: "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
Hotel Argues With Woman But She Gets The Last Laugh

A woman decided to give herself a treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in an expensive hotel. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.

She asked why the charge was so high. “It’s a nice hotel but the rooms aren’t worth $250.00 for one night! I didn’t even have breakfast.”

The clerk told her that $250.00 is the standard rate, so she insisted on speaking to the manager.

The manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: “This hotel has an Olympic-sized swimming pool and a large conference center - which are available for use.”

“But I didn’t use them,” she said.

“Well they are here and you could have,” explained the manager. He went on to explain that she could have also seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous for. “We have the best entertainers from the world over, performing here,” the manager said.

“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” the lady said.

“Well we have them and you could have,” the manager replied.

No matter what amenity the manager mentioned, the woman replied: “But I didn’t use it!” The manager countered with his standard response.

After several minutes discussion with the manager unmoved, she decided to pay and wrote a check and gave it to him.

The manager seemed surprised when he looked at the check. “But madam, this check is for only $50.00.”

“That’s correct. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied.

“But I didn’t!” exclaimed the very surprised manager.

“Well I was here and you could have,” she sweetly informed him.

~~​
 
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