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Jealous of bf’s friend


New Member
My boyfriend has a university friend who is a girl and she’s beautiful. He often tells me she is amazing and she’s a real GENIUS. He even wants me and her to meet because he says we are similar and have a lot of interests in common (painting, reading, art, writing). I care a lot about my knowledge, passions and I have a good self esteem. But thinking about how highly he talks of her she really seems to be a Goddess of culture and talent. For example she won an important literary prize. I have won something too, but far less important. The fact is that I am not jealous of my boyfriend because I know he’s in love with me and I trust him. But I feel as if he admires her more than me. ( it’s not that I want to be the best; I‘m good with myself and I know there a lot of people who are better than me) and all of this situation wouldn’t even bother me if she was good in something totally distant from me; but since we are similar I really feel inferior to her to my boyfriend’s eyes. What should I do?


Well-Known Member
I would meet up with her - preferably without your boyfriend. Maybe even become friends with her. You'll get to find out her flaws/faults - we all have them. Then if your boyfriend keeps telling you about how amazing she is, you can point out how she's human like the rest of us.

If he admires her for her accomplishments, it doesn't mean he loves you any less. But if he seems to overdo his praises of her, you might want to ask him how would he feel if you had a guy friend who had all the talents your boyfriend has and you kept going on about how wonderful he was (and wouldn't it make him uncomfortable)?
The thing is: even if he doesn't talk about her anymore, he might still think about her. But if your boyfriend shows you that he loves you, you are still "superior" to his friend - because you have his love (which she doesn't have).