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Is this married man being suggestive?


New Member
Hey :)
Apologies for the long post but please stay with me, I need you!!

I'm not normally one to post things online but the situation is awkward and really need to know if I am overthinking the events.
I was recently out with by partner and friends at a popular car event in QLD, there were 5 of us that went in 1 car so it was a bit squishy in the back seat.
One of our good friends brought along his mate we'll call him Ben, who we knew but didn't spend a lot of time with as hes 10+ years older with wife and kids.
Everything was going great, having a fantastic with a few drinks driving around town and that's when I noticed every so often Ben's hand would graze my leg. But at the time I didn't think too much of it being in a car moving around, things happen and he was in a middle seat.
Later on he questions me about the perfume I was wearing, so naturally I told him thinking perhaps he likes it and wanted to get it for his wife, seemed like a pretty harmless question.
I use to be a smoker so after a few drinks I am terrible and love stealing a cheeky smoke or vape. Ben had a vape so naturally I stole this for wee turn a couple of times but every time when I was handing it back to him his hand lingered on mine for a considerable amount of time and it felt as though his fingers grazed/stroked mine.
I almost questioned it at the time but thought argh my partners in the front seat and he's married so I just shrugged off thinking perhaps I'm just overreacting and seeing/thinking things that aren't there.
My question is, were these sort of actions an indirect or discreet way for Ben to be suggestive or flirty without being guilty by actually saying or doing anything? Or am I just simply completely over thinking the situation?
I am currently feeling guilty like I should tell my partner but I don't want to create a mountain out of a mole hill per say.
Any interpretations or advice with this would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you xx


New Member
I do not think you are overthinking at all. It's clear from the way how Ben acted was wrong from how his hands lingered longer than necessary and him asking about the perfume. If you felt uncomfortable with all that then yes you should share it with your partner.