I want a baby but don't know if I'm ready

[Ollie1]

I feel like I'm not ready but I want a baby so bad. I'm in a long term relationship and I love my Hubby so much. We are so great together. The thing is I don't have a job and we're living with his parents. I know I need to find a job but I cant. I've tried so hard. I won't seek employment with fast food. Been there, done that. I'm in need of advice!

 

[Kellygirl59]

Don't have a kid until you are married and have a stable income that will support you. Kids are expensive to say the least

 

[Ollie1]

You're right. But what if I can't get a stable income? I'm already 22. I want to have a baby before I turn 25. I feel like any later I would be too old, especially if I want to have multiple children

 

[Emily Firewood]

I think the best is to think about the baby in the first place, how would be the environment around him/her. will you have a steady financial situation? will you be ready to give up all your free time for it? will your partner be there?
there are lots of questions, but the child should be always put in the first place, not your desire of having a child before x amount of years.

 

[Gaby Eugene]

I want to have a baby before I turn 25. I feel like any later I would be too old, especially if I want to have multiple children

I understand where you are coming from, but PinkCandy and Emily Firewood offered really good points already. So I'm gonna tackle your age argument. You won't be too old! My mother had her first child at 28 and went on to have a further three for a grand total of four children. She and my father never regretted their decision to wait; they simply wanted to make sure that they were in a stable enough place to support us.
I am happy that, at 22, you already know that children are a definite goal for you and your partner. But I do think that the two of you have to sit down and have a serious discussion. Can you support a family on your current income? Would you yourself have to get a second job? Would he have to take on a second job (as my own father did when the third child was born)? Would you have a stable network of familial and friendly support? And, as mentioned by the previous commenters, would you child grow up in a stable environment. Your child will always be your first concern, and you have to make sure that you'll be in a place where you can both love and care for your child.

 

[Paper]

You need to have a serious conversation with your partner about this. You shouldn't have a child until you're stable enough to support a child, let alone multiple children if you're thinking of having more than one. Also at 22, you're still very young and truly, you have more time than you might think.

However, if time really concerns you, you can't be so picky about things if you're going to be so desperate.
You need to play a part in this game. You need to actively help you and your partner stabilize financially, but the only way for that to happen is for you to get a job. You said you've had issues with this in the past. Well, employment with fast food is better than no employment at all. It's still a way to receive some kind of income. Something is better than nothing.
You can avoid employment with fast food by putting the extra effort into finding employment elsewhere. Write up a flawless resume, enlist your friends and family to refer you, make dozens of phone calls and be persistent. Persistent as all hell. Finding a job is not impossible, but if you're willing to give up on it, you're not going to get anywhere. The longer you stay unemployed, the longer this process will take.

 

[Animika Kapur]

Ta

I feel like I'm not ready but I want a baby so bad. I'm in a long term relationship and I love my Hubby so much. We are so great together. The thing is I don't have a job and we're living with his parents. I know I need to find a job but I cant. I've tried so hard. I won't seek employment with fast food. Been there, done that. I'm in need of advice!

Talk to your husband about your worries. He must be responsible now that you are married. Since you want to get pregnant, don't be choosy with work. If you want to try freelancer job, try working online.

 

[destinylynnxoxo]

i know exactly how you feel. Im a young person and i've wanted a baby for the past year. but in the end i was glad i didn't get pregnant. the guy i was with didn't want any kids and we didn't work out. if i had gotten pregnant, i would have to take care if this baby by myself. you gotta weigh all the pros and cons, babies are so expensive and your hubby might not be able to support all of you on his own. your in-laws will definitely help, but eventually they will get sick of it and want you guys to get out on your own. you're having trouble getting a job and ik thats stressful but having a baby with no job will be even more stressful. every parent says they want to give their children more than what they had. I guess you have to think, will you be able to do that.

 

[Iamcarmari]

I feel like I'm not ready but I want a baby so bad. I'm in a long term relationship and I love my Hubby so much. We are so great together. The thing is I don't have a job and we're living with his parents. I know I need to find a job but I cant. I've tried so hard. I won't seek employment with fast food. Been there, done that. I'm in need of advice!

I think like other people say also on this topics.. Baby is super big deal things to have.. If both of you and your partner still living on his parents.?Don't you think having baby is something should not even consider yet?. because once you have a child. you both have to think about the baby needs.. What if you baby got sick.. U need money on that.. Until both of you had j proper job and income coming in regularly then you start thinking about having baby...

 

[Chocoholique]

I understand that you want to possess that role of being responsible for something you created and love. Babies are a big responsibility, we are talking about food, clothes amd other items. You may need a job, working hours that you are comfortable with and receiving a fair income for your service. I also think that you should include your partner in this situation, you may be ready but is he? Will he want children and will he give them what they need. You have to make sure you both of you will be there for the child.