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I need help x)

ailime

science loving teenager looking for happiness
So... To give y'all a bit of background...

I have been single for all my 17 years of life. Had multiple crushes, all of them turned out to be unworthy and just not nice.
I mean, I've always been falling for either the rebels or just the guys that have been treating me nicely (even tho they turned out to be complete assholes later).

So...
This August (2018) I met a guy through a langauge learning app called Tandem. They have written in their rules that it ain't a dating app, but yeah xD
Back to the topic.
He is a year older than me, shorter than me and thousands of kilometers away.

And I, I just don't know. He is like, the best guy I've ever met, really.
Our relationship is half romantic, at least I see it like this.
He teases me a lot, uses kissing emojis and hearts and all of that...
Just telling me that I deserve love and afection.
And, what I think is the most important - he is so, so honest with me, you can't even imagine.

And here's the problem.
We haven't met IRL, we even haven't had a call. We've only been texting.

Is there any possibility that I might be in love with him? Is there any possibility HE can see me as more than a friend? Is there any way I can tell?



And yes, let me repeat myself, I have no experience in love whatsoever x)
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
It's easy to fall for either rebels or guys who treat us nice in the beginning then change later. There are just so many of them around!

It's very possible that you've fallen in love this with guy. We're so desperate to find a good guy that when we do find one (or at least a guy who seems like a good guy), we easily fall in love with him.

Whether he sees you as a friend or something more is something only he can answer. It seems like it, though (as he's using those "romantic" emoji's). Whether it's love or lust is something that will reveal itself eventually (by the way he treats you).

On a side note; if you chat with him in real-time, you might want to be careful as some guys masturbate while we're talking to them on the phone or online. They pretend they're in love with us so we'll keep coming back for more chats. (And this can happen to women who are experienced in love, too.) But hopefully this guy isn't like that. Good luck. :)
 

Rhonda333

Active Member
No, you're certainly not "in love". You have never met or even talked with this guy. Maybe infatuation with the idea of being in love. By your own admission, you always pick losers. This is just another one. Move on.
 

ailime

science loving teenager looking for happiness
By your own admission, you always pick losers. This is just another one. Move on.
I appreciate your opinion, I am partial to it, really. But please, don't call this guy a loser x(

It's easy to fall for either rebels or guys who treat us nice in the beginning then change later. There are just so many of them around!

It's very possible that you've fallen in love this with guy. We're so desperate to find a good guy that when we do find one (or at least a guy who seems like a good guy), we easily fall in love with him.

Whether he sees you as a friend or something more is something only he can answer. It seems like it, though (as he's using those "romantic" emoji's). Whether it's love or lust is something that will reveal itself eventually (by the way he treats you).

On a side note; if you chat with him in real-time, you might want to be careful as some guys masturbate while we're talking to them on the phone or online. They pretend they're in love with us so we'll keep coming back for more chats. (And this can happen to women who are experienced in love, too.) But hopefully this guy isn't like that. Good luck. :)
thank you for advice and warnings, will keep in mind
 

sandy brady

Active Member
sweet.
i deffo dont think you are in love. dont strust peope so easily. I may be a 50 year old nigerian man for all you know...
Having said that I have been in your situation, then i ensured i face timed him, called him at random times and even checked his linkedin account(work) to ensure he is who he says he is. it led to 3 month relationship that ended BADLY.
Not worth the hassel. you are very young and will probably find a better man even before uni! its not worth the hassel.

Also deffo agree with Rhonda, she s always wise :)
 

ailime

science loving teenager looking for happiness
sweet.
i deffo dont think you are in love. dont strust peope so easily. I may be a 50 year old nigerian man for all you know...
Having said that I have been in your situation, then i ensured i face timed him, called him at random times and even checked his linkedin account(work) to ensure he is who he says he is. it led to 3 month relationship that ended BADLY.
Not worth the hassel. you are very young and will probably find a better man even before uni! its not worth the hassel.

Also deffo agree with Rhonda, she s always wise :)
Thank you for worrying, I have checked him multiple times xD
Thanks for advice xx
 

Clevernose22

New Member
I definitely get you. I had a crush on a guy who I'd never met, however, we were both in online school so it was more reputable. But, eventually, I realized that it just wasn't worth it for me. He lives in a different continent, it just wouldn't work.
I would say that obviously, you can't stop your feelings for him. But, don't try to get your hopes up too high. Long-distance relationships are really hard. So, just enjoy your conversations, try not to give personal information, and have fun.
 

ailime

science loving teenager looking for happiness
I definitely get you. I had a crush on a guy who I'd never met, however, we were both in online school so it was more reputable. But, eventually, I realized that it just wasn't worth it for me. He lives in a different continent, it just wouldn't work.
I would say that obviously, you can't stop your feelings for him. But, don't try to get your hopes up too high. Long-distance relationships are really hard. So, just enjoy your conversations, try not to give personal information, and have fun.
Thank you for your advice!! xx
 

Rhonda333

Active Member
Move on ailime. All these women, who have greater experience in the world, are urging you to dump this guy and move on.
 

ailime

science loving teenager looking for happiness
Move on ailime. All these women, who have greater experience in the world, are urging you to dump this guy and move on.
I just wanted to say that even if he's not my crush or whatever he might be, he is still my friend x)
And yeah, I totally am partial to your opinion, as I have said earlier :)
 

Lexedrine

Cultish
I just wanted to say that even if he's not my crush or whatever he might be, he is still my friend x)
And yeah, I totally am partial to your opinion, as I have said earlier :)
As a young adult, it's almost expected for you to be experiencing whatever feelings you might think about the others -- however, judging by the sound of it, these guys won't be in your heart, or at least not in your heart the same way as you might have hoped, 10 years down the road.
In fact, sometimes drama stems from a naive lassie being too close to too many unrelated guys. It's not unlike middle school: all these classmates are like your friends, but in 3 years, you might forget all about them; indeed, for the better to just carry on.

I can personally attest to the Bible as a good source of answers. The "Book Of Song Of Songs" is an infallible source of romantic and even intimate guidance, and it's Yahweh's scripture, so it's guaranteed. :D
I got more info than I could ask for just from giving "Song Of Songs" a read.
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
I love the Song of Solomon (also called Song of Songs). It's so romantic. I want some of that read at my wedding!

But did God/Yahweh write that or did a person write that? That's what I kept asking myself the first time I read the Old Testament ("cover to cover"). :)
 

Lexedrine

Cultish
I love the Song of Solomon (also called Song of Songs). It's so romantic. I want some of that read at my wedding!

But did God/Yahweh write that or did a person write that? That's what I kept asking myself the first time I read the Old Testament ("cover to cover"). :)
Well, a person had to be there to scribe the Bible, but I strongly believe the Creator is behind all those words.
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
No, hon. I meant did the words come from God or did some guy decide to write what he was thinking (rather than having a direct line to what God was saying). ;)
There's a part of the Old Testament where Moses supposedly wrote it but then there are parts of it that sounds like someone wrote it on behalf of Moses - so I don't understand that discrepancy.
Then there are other parts that don't portray God is a very favorable light - but we know (thanks to Jesus telling us) that God is a loving God, not a vengeful/judgmental God. I suspect someone wrote that to try to intimidate the believers so they wouldn't join other religions and give their tithings to other religious leaders.

If (what we now know as) the "Old Testament" is the word of God, then why did Jesus say (from time to time) it was said that... but I say onto you... ? Jesus basically confirmed the 10 Commandments but I'm wondering if we should take the rest of the Old Testament as gospel? (Pardon the pun.) :)

But if there's an afterlife, we'll find out the truth about everything. I'm looking forward to it. :)
 

Lexedrine

Cultish
No, hon. I meant did the words come from God or did some guy decide to write what he was thinking (rather than having a direct line to what God was saying). ;)
There's a part of the Old Testament where Moses supposedly wrote it but then there are parts of it that sounds like someone wrote it on behalf of Moses - so I don't understand that discrepancy.
Then there are other parts that don't portray God is a very favorable light - but we know (thanks to Jesus telling us) that God is a loving God, not a vengeful/judgmental God. I suspect someone wrote that to try to intimidate the believers so they wouldn't join other religions and give their tithings to other religious leaders.

If (what we now know as) the "Old Testament" is the word of God, then why did Jesus say (from time to time) it was said that... but I say onto you... ? Jesus basically confirmed the 10 Commandments but I'm wondering if we should take the rest of the Old Testament as gospel? (Pardon the pun.) :)

But if there's an afterlife, we'll find out the truth about everything. I'm looking forward to it. :)
I believe fundamental principles of the Old Testament are meant to be respected, yea respected, but the New Testament is meant more for us, so we should take that into consideration because we aren't ancient Israelites. However, I believe the other parts of the Old Testament still hold relevance for all of us, which we can better interpret after having read and taken to heart the New Testament.
 
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