i have a bit of an issue

[shanzi]

so i have an ex but whenever i end up seeing him again (which seems unavoidable cos whenever i think i wont have to see him again i do cos of this new arranged trip that happens at least once a year) anyway whenever i go on this trip he always ends up having feelings for me again and we have been together 3 times and i am 100% i will never give him another chance and friendship wont work cos we always r friendly for like a week and then insult each other rlly badly so i dont wanna b friends with him either. i have a trip coming up at easter that he will b on probs so ill b nice for everyone elses sake but dear lord im scared wot do i do??

 

[Christinegirl]

Will your current boyfriend be going on this trip, also? If so, I'd stay close to him whenever you think your ex might be around. (Hopefully your ex will stay away from you then.)

If your boyfriend wasn't going to go on this trip with you, could you maybe invite him?

If your boyfriend can't/won't go with you, and you haven't received the covid 19 vaccine yet (as it isn't currently available for teenagers and childen), maybe you can use this as an excuse and not go on this trip at easter. Instead, plan to meet up with any of your friends later on this year (after you all get vaccinated) - and don't invite your ex.

 

[Anthrodani]

Hi Shanzi, @Christinegirl provided some very good suggestions that you could do to try and keep distance between you and your ex...but another thing is maybe to just talk to him before the trip and mention that you are currently happy and in a relationship and not looking to have a friendship/relationship (as difficult as that can be) with one another for the sake of your relationship. If he is a respectful guy I think he will accept your request.

And with reference to the actual trip in April, as i understand it is a large trip with many people attending, enjoy your time with others on the trip rather than him and try your best to keep the distance between one another.

 

[shanzi]

Hi Shanzi, @Christinegirl provided some very good suggestions that you could do to try and keep distance between you and your ex...but another thing is maybe to just talk to him before the trip and mention that you are currently happy and in a relationship and not looking to have a friendship/relationship (as difficult as that can be) with one another for the sake of your relationship. If he is a respectful guy I think he will accept your request.

And with reference to the actual trip in April, as i understand it is a large trip with many people attending, enjoy your time with others on the trip rather than him and try your best to keep the distance between one another.

Hi thx this is also gr8 advice, I did try telling him already that I'm a new relationship and didn't like him anymore and he just got all rude bout it and we haven't spoken since tho I feel like he's gonna message me again after he's seen me face to face as that's wot he always does

 

[Anthrodani]

Yeah so in that situation he clearly went on the defensive and it seems that he is obviously still into you. If he does message you again either ignore the message all together, or inform him that that is something he cannot be doing. I think it would be good too to maybe talk to your boyfriend about this situation your going through (because that can maybe reassure you and your own head space within your current relationship). If you see him in person again, I guess you can try and make sure your never left in a room with him by yourself...attach yourself to a friend or boyfriend for that matter Lol, and he definitely won't come close

 

[shanzi]

Yeah so in that situation he clearly went on the defensive and it seems that he is obviously still into you. If he does message you again either ignore the message all together, or inform him that that is something he cannot be doing. I think it would be good too to maybe talk to your boyfriend about this situation your going through (because that can maybe reassure you and your own head space within your current relationship). If you see him in person again, I guess you can try and make sure your never left in a room with him by yourself...attach yourself to a friend or boyfriend for that matter Lol, and he definitely won't come close

That's actually some pretty gd advice, just 1 last thing that bothers me is that when ever we argue he says he has a gf and doesn't need me but then y does he keep messaging me again, do u think he cud b making it up? Not that I care that much tbh

 

[Anthrodani]

Okay so in my opinion that is something that you should not tolerate. If I'm being honestly with you whether that is true or not you should not let such behaviour is toxic and should not stand in your relationship. This is something you should definitely care about, because if he is unfaithful to you then you should not waste your time with him and potentially explore a relationship where the guy is truly into you and dedicated to you and feel free to do as you please on your trip!

 

[shanzi]

Okay so in my opinion that is something that you should not tolerate. If I'm being honestly with you whether that is true or not you should not let such behaviour is toxic and should not stand in your relationship. This is something you should definitely care about, because if he is unfaithful to you then you should not waste your time with him and potentially explore a relationship where the guy is truly into you and dedicated to you and feel free to do as you please on your trip!

Gd advice and planning on talking to my bf bout this and getting his advice too

 

[Anthrodani]

Okay I'm so glad. At the end of the day good communication is so important in a relationship!

Goodluck hun, I hope it goes well! Let me know how it goes!

 

[shanzi]

Okay I'm so glad. At the end of the day good communication is so important in a relationship!

Goodluck hun, I hope it goes well! Let me know how it goes!

Of course I definitely will