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Help me out please


New Member
Hello, I wanted to ask for your opinions. Firstly, sorry for such a long text and if there will be any grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language. So there’s this guy that I like, but I’m not sure if he feels the same way and maybe some of you looking from the other side at this situation will see things more clearly or know better. We don’t talk much, usually just snapchat like 10 snaps or sometimes less in a day. Usually he’s the one that snaps back. So about him, he seems confident, doesn’t open easily and a little misterious, sarcastic, he isn’t the most friendly person, also he doesn’t give compliments to any of his friends or other people, he just like roast them in a friendly level. I heard from guys and other girls that if a guy makes constantly eye contact with you or smiles to you he might be interested, so when we spend time with mutual friends he usually does these things but not all the time. Once we have been to a party and we spent some time together with one mutual friend, we danced together and he was smiling, looking at me, when we where going outside he took my coat and put it on me and in the end when I was leaving he gave me a hug as a goodbye, usually he just like shakes hand as a hello and bye, but I’m not sure if he acted like this because he was drunk or he wasn’t. Sometimes he can be really nice, but when we talk on snapchat he acts unfriendly, sometimes he ignores, leaves me on read or roast me, acts like he doesn’t care at all and that makes me feel really confused. Also he talks to a lot of other girls. Yesterday I was drinking alcohol and I said that I won’t be drinking this week anymore but in a words like “now that’s a question if I should or shouldn’t drink” and he said that he doesn’t care and I told him “yeah, I know u don’t” and he answered yes/right, but once he tried to convince me to stop smoking, so I guess he must care at least a little bit. I feel that he might not like me back and maybe all of this is dumb, but I just need to hear other people opinion so I could know should I try to move on or I shouldn’t. Thank you for your time reading all of this, sorry for such a long text and I hope some of you will be able to help me


Staff member
No apologies necessary, hon. That's the beauty of posting in forums (unlike Twitter with their limited character space! :p :D) - our posts can be as long as they need to be. :)

It sounds like he might be interested in you on some level but he might think of you as just another "face in the crowd", especially online (as he talks to a lot of other girls). He may not want to be too open and friendly online in case other women think he's a flirt and a "player".

I feel a person's true nature/character is often revealed online (unless they're hoping it will lead to a physical meeting).

When getting to know someone in person, a guy will often be on his best behavior; complimentary, attentive, charming. He wants to make a good impression, in the hopes that the woman; will think he's wonderful, will fall in love with him, have sex with him.

Some people's inhibitions are lowered when they've been drinking - so this guy might have been more demonstrative/affectionate when he spent time with you at that party.

Personally, from everything you've described about this guy, I'd believe him when he admitted that he doesn't care. (He might have tried to convince you to stop smoking so he wouldn't have to breathe in your second-hand smoke when he's with you.)
I know it sounds like I'm bad-minded but, to me, it's a person's negative behavior that gives us a true indication of where that person is coming from. For example, a person who doesn't like us can pretend to be nice to us but a person who likes us won't pretend to be mean to us.

All of what you mentioned isn't dumb, hon. You raise some very legitimate concerns and you have every right to question this guy's intentions.
My advice is to proceed with caution, being very observant of his behavior - protect and guard your emotional health and well-being. Keep your options open and seek out other potential boyfriends (as he thinks it's acceptable to talk to other girls). ;)