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Have you ever...?

Christinegirl

Well-Known Member
Sometimes some people feel bad because they can't do something/don't know something and they take it as a personal insult that someone "had to" help them/explain something to them.

But it still hurts when we have good intentions, doesn't it!

If I get that reaction too often, from the same person, I don't help them as much anymore. I ask them to let me know if they need help and then if they don't, I try to stay out of the situation (because I feel I'm not ultimately really helping them - I'm just making them feel bad).
 

TammyValentine

Active Member
Sometimes some people feel bad because they can't do something/don't know something and they take it as a personal insult that someone "had to" help them/explain something to them.

But it still hurts when we have good intentions, doesn't it!

If I get that reaction too often, from the same person, I don't help them as much anymore. I ask them to let me know if they need help and then if they don't, I try to stay out of the situation (because I feel I'm not ultimately really helping them - I'm just making them feel bad).
When they reject my help, I kept thinking to myself what I did wrong and what I could do to help them in other ways. Reading what you said about how they would think it as an insult made me think differently. I didn't know it could go that way. After the incident I just distant myself from those people in fear of making them irritated by my "help".
 

Christinegirl

Well-Known Member
I know what you mean, hon. It is normal for us to wonder whether we did something wrong. But that's not usually the case. We know this because we could give the same help to someone else and they would react much differently - they would be grateful for the assistance.
So it's often not us who did something wrong. The other person's negative reaction usually has nothing to do with us. We just have the misfortune to receive the negative reaction. (And maybe it could be that they just don't like us personally. If that's the case, as you said, I try not to bother the person. I just try to stay away from them. I spend my time with people who do like me and/or people who are happy to accept my help.) :)
 
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