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Getting over someone who was forced away by your mother

K

Kass

Guest
December of 2011 I started seeing a wonderful guy whom I will refer to as (NoName). He was 21 at the time and I was 16. I was hesitant at first because of how I knew him. As wrong as it was, he had dated my sister previously and they weren't compatible by any means. My sister was 24 at the time. He was the type that his style was a little on the edgier side. He was into fast cars, outdoors activities like fishing and hunting. He loved getting tattoos and loved working his 12 hour shifts at a sand mine even more. He was a very hardworking man. My sister on the other hand; very prissy, afraid of EVERYTHING, hates going outside because of the bugs, doesn't like to work for anything, and you wouldn't catch her in the woods if you paid her! Not that any of that is wrong, I love my sister for who she is and I love the fact that we're opposites. I feel it lets our individuality shine a little more. However, they didn't work so they ended it months prior. Him and I had always gotten along very well while my sister and him her together. Nothing anything more than friends, we just shared a common interest in music (something my sister and him didn't share by any means), we shared a common interest in the style of clothing we wore, we both were adrenaline junkies, we had TONS of stuff in common! Later on in the year (December) we started talking more and more. I had a boyfriend at the time, I had found out that he had cheated on me so I broke it off but I was pretty torn up about it. NoName was there right away, he was at work at the time but he called to make sure I was okay and to make sure that my ex was leaving me alone. It wasn't like I was putty in NoName's hands, I wanted to be left alone and he did just that. A few weeks passed and he invited me to hang out with him. It was pretty late at night but he had worked a midnight shift so even on his days off the only time he was awake was at night. I always told hi he was my little vampire cause he only came out at night, lol. I agreed to have him pick me up but we had to keep it on the down low because of obvious reasons. 1.) My mother wasn't too fond of him because she is INSANELY religious and she believes that tattoos make you evil. 2.) It was insanely late so in order to see him I had to sneak out. The first time we hung out we had the time of our lives! We drove around, laughed, told jokes with each other. Everything was 100% G rated. We went to his house, watched a movie then he took me home safely. That was it and that was all. Weeks had passed of us talking on the phone. Phone calls started becoming longer not by seconds but by hours. We found ourselves on the phone through his entire 12 hour shift! (He drove a loader and would put his headphones in the phone and talk to me so he was hands free) We started hanging out more not just in private but he took me out to eat as well. We hung out and talked so much that we were facing the start of something amazing. Here was a guy that I had everything in common with. He respected me, he cared about me, he was adorably romantic. I was treated like an absolute princess! This was a relationship that EVERY girl dreams about and I was living that dream! I can remember a time that I got into a fight with my mother and it had really shook me up, he was instantly at my house ready to pick me up and he refused to take me home until he could put and keep a smile on my face. He told me I was beautiful every single day. He knew all the little things about me and that's how he won my heart over. My favorite thing about him was the way that he sang. He had the most beautiful singing voice and he would sing to me for hours on the phone. I also sang so when we were together we would sing songs together. He wasn't into drugs, he drank but only casually and never around me. He never offered me any type of illegal substance in any way, shape, or form. I was never into that partying phase, I had always been a fairly good kid. I never dabbled into tobacco or any drugs. The only problem with him...was that my mother wasn't aware that he was in my life as more than a friend. She knew him as a friend of mine. But not that we hung out all the time and that we talked for hours every.single.night. If she knew, she'd kill both of us. It was sort of a Romeo and Juliet type deal because our families didn't get along either. I was so happy that I couldn't let her do that. She ended up finding out about us and she called the police right away. She had some idea in her head that he was raping me. He had the sweetest heart anyone could possibly have. We did have sexual relations but only after our relationship had grown to a strong level of trusting each other 100%. We were responsible, we were safe and we were perfect for each other. After she called the police we both explained to the police that having sex while I wasn't 18 yet was wrong but when a certain bond comes between two people, it's hard to avoid. The officer believed my mother over us and he was charged with 'Sex with a 16 year old'. The statement made by the officer stated that he had forced it on me, which was NEVER true. I am a very outspoken and independent women like my mother and NOBODY will ever take advantage of me and get away with it. To sum things up, we were torn apart and a no contact order with me was put on him December of 2012. I am now a month from 18 and he is still the only thing I want in my life. I have been apart from him for so long that my heart aches. We haven't spoken because if he speaks to me, his plea bargain will end and he will be put in prison for quite some time. If he completes what he is told to complete, he will get off scott free. I have tried moving on and keeping myself occupied with work but he always seems to pop into my head. I haven't spoken to him in over a year and like I said, my heart aches! All I know is that he lives in Missouri with family so that it is for sure that he will never run into me because if he ran into me, he'd break the plea bargain in a heartbeat. I love this man with all of my heart. The plea bargain ends July of 2014 where he is then allowed to speak to me freely. I can't go that long without him. I love him to death. He was ripped away from me with no goodbye and I think about him every single day. I understand my mother's intention but I believe she should of came to me first and asked me what was going on instead of just assuming. I have told her this and she now understands but there is nothing that we are able to do. She still doesn't approve of him however and neither does my sister(for obvious reasons). He's not a criminal and doesn't deserve all this grief. Yes, I understand the law and since we did have sex, I know that there's no way out of his charge. What can I do to mend my heart that aches for him so badly? Sorry it's so long by the way.
 
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