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Embarrassed and Awkward

Lizzeyg13

New Member
Hi!
So there's this guy that I've been FWB with for about 8 years. We've only been friends but now we both have gotten out of bad relationships- he's been broken up for a year and it's been about 3 months for me- and we've been casually dating, like non-exclusively. Well, I've had serious feelings for him for those 8 years and every time we've come close to talking about it, something happens and one of us ends up in a new relationship.

Last night, I told him how I felt and he didn't really say anything. He'd mentioned before about how he wasnt ready to move on into a serious relationship so he can work more on himself. But now, I'm embarrassed and awkward around him. I can't even look him in the eye and he's starting to notice. I slept over at his place last night and this morning he woke me up by rubbing my back and kissing me. He's always been affectionate, but it felt different this time. Or am I overthinking everything here?

I really need help on what to do here, because I'm confused now. How do I look him in the eye again without feeling embarrassed and awkward?
 

Rhonda333

Active Member
He has every right to claim he's not ready to move onto a serious relationship. Be grateful he's perfectly honest with himself and you. Yes you are over thinking. My advice is to continue a casual relationship while you both are seeing other people. If you have been at it for 8 years, this should not be difficult.
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
I really need help on what to do here, because I'm confused now.
You have my sympathy, hon, having feelings for a guy for eight years. But that's the way a lot of us ladies are "wired": it's hard to be in a friends-with-benefits relationship (in other words, be intimate with someone) without us developing feelings for him.

I don't blame you for feeling awkward around him. But I think it's good that you told him how you feel - so at least you don't have to hide your feelings anymore. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like he feels the same way about you (or maybe it just takes him longer to "catch up" emotionally).
If it becomes too uncomfortable for you, you might like to spend some time away from him. You can use the "excuse" that we still need to social distance. Because I'm sad to say, hon, but it sounds like he might be just using you. He's not ready to move on into a serious relationship but he doesn't mind using you for sex though, does he!

As long as he doesn't reciprocate, hon, you might continue to feel awkward around him. But you deserve someone who cares about you the way you care about him. And I know this because you've cared about him but never put demands on him, you've been there for him when he needed someone, etc.
 

vinamars

New Member
He has every right to claim he's not ready to move onto a serious relationship. Be grateful he's perfectly honest with himself and you. Yes you are over thinking. My advice is to continue a casual relationship while you both are seeing other people. If you have been at it for 8 years, this should not be difficult.
+1
 

sandy brady

Active Member
Ah am sorry that you are in this situation. But am afraid he s free to decline. He got into it with the understanding that it wont lead to more, sometimes things change, and sometimes they dont. If he still is not into you, am sorry hun, let that man go.
Also please dont stay in the FWB thinking he will end up liking u ( i have done this) because u ll start to treat it like a relationship and he ll keep pushing you away and you ll get hurt :( best of luck x
 

Amily

New Member
Hello)

In my opinion, there are only two possible options.

The first is to have the courage to ask him if he has feelings for you and if he wants to start a relationship with you. If he says yes, that's great, congratulations, if he says no, then you will at least know that you do not need to hope for sth, and you can move on without him.

There is another option. This is when you already understand that you will not have a relationship. Then you just need to avoid communicating with him, ideally try to delete him from your life. It's difficult. But it's effective, in time you will understand it.
 
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