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Did I break “girl code”

Pretteelilhart

New Member
Hey everyone. So I went to a little house party last month and while I was there I met a few new girls. They happened to be housemates of a friend long story short we all meshed well and it was cool. We all ended up going outside and started playing some drinking games. Side note I’m a very light drinker I can barely handle an angry orchard but this night I had both wine and tequila lol. I had a really rough week hahaha. Anyway we were drinking and I noticed one of the guys that joined in was subtle but not so subtly flirting with me. So before I entertained the thought when he got up I asked the girls who live at the house where this gathering was taking place if he was accounted for. Like do any of you have any dealings with him be it past present or future ya know and everyone said no to their knowledge he is single. Ok cool when he gets back I ask him are you single better yet does anyone claim you to be with them in any way shape or form. And he too says no. So more games more drinking and more physical activity with the guy one thing leads to another and we end up hooking up at the house in my friends room given her permission. She was awesome she set the mood in the room and even offered refreshments ( ikr perfect hostess). So I guess while we were in the room one of the housemates hears me and the guy in the room and instantly gets upset and catches the biggest attitude and leaves the house. Mind you this is one of the house mates I met earlier and is one of the girls I asked if she had any dealings with the guy before i let it go past the initial flirting and again she said no she didn’t have anything no feelings no attachments they were just cool. So apparently in her mind they were together in some secret relationship that only she knew about because both she and the guy had hooked up in the past like a few months prior on like 2 occasions but that was the extent. So now in her eyes I am a home wrecking whore that will **** anyone who bats an eye at me and I am now bared from coming to the house. This isn’t her house btw but she rents a room there along with like 15 other people most of whom like my presence and have invited me to come over. So now my friend is caught in a weird place because instead of the angry house mate addressing her issues with me and the guy she is pinning a lot of the blame on the friend who allowed us access to her room so we could have fun. So did I break girl code? And how do I fix the issue?
 

Christinegirl

Well-Known Member
No, hon. You didn't break any girl code. You were more than considerate, asking everyone if it was okay. The "ex" should have been more honest with you (unless maybe she didn't realize, herself, that she still had feelings for this guy).

I don't think there's a lot you can do. I think it's up to all the girls in the house to vote on whether you are really bared or not. It sounds like she's the only person who has a problem with you hooking up with this guy. It's something she needs to come to terms with, herself.
That's why it's not always a good idea for a woman to hook up with a guy (as we often develop feelings for him, having shared something so intense as sex).

It bugs me when the woman (in this case, you) is called nasty names. Is she calling him all those names, especially as he's the one having sex with different women (and possibly deliberately hung around women who were drinking alcohol, in the hopes that he could have sex with one of you!)

The friend (who allowed you access to her room) might not have known that this other girl still had feelings for this guy, either - or maybe she did and she knew what kind of a guy he was so she took this opportunity to show the other girl how he'll hook up with someone he just met at a party.

On a side note, it might not be a good idea to have sex with someone we just met - as condoms can break and he could have some kind of sexually transmitted disease. I don't trust guys who have sex with women who have been drinking. To me, that's him taking advantage of the woman.

As most of the women in the house like you and have invited you to come over, hopefully you'll be able to hang out with them (and if this one particular woman doesn't like it, maybe she can go somewhere else at that time). ;)
 

vinamars

New Member
No, hon. You didn't break any girl code. You were more than considerate, asking everyone if it was okay. The "ex" should have been more honest with you (unless maybe she didn't realize, herself, that she still had feelings for this guy).

I don't think there's a lot you can do. I think it's up to all the girls in the house to vote on whether you are really bared or not. It sounds like she's the only person who has a problem with you hooking up with this guy. It's something she needs to come to terms with, herself.
That's why it's not always a good idea for a woman to hook up with a guy (as we often develop feelings for him, having shared something so intense as sex).

It bugs me when the woman (in this case, you) is called nasty names. Is she calling him all those names, especially as he's the one having sex with different women (and possibly deliberately hung around women who were drinking alcohol, in the hopes that he could have sex with one of you!)

The friend (who allowed you access to her room) might not have known that this other girl still had feelings for this guy, either - or maybe she did and she knew what kind of a guy he was so she took this opportunity to show the other girl how he'll hook up with someone he just met at a party.

On a side note, it might not be a good idea to have sex with someone we just met - as condoms can break and he could have some kind of sexually transmitted disease. I don't trust guys who have sex with women who have been drinking. To me, that's him taking advantage of the woman.

As most of the women in the house like you and have invited you to come over, hopefully you'll be able to hang out with them (and if this one particular woman doesn't like it, maybe she can go somewhere else at that time). ;)
+1
 
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