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Dealing with the catfish


New Member
Long story short, I have been catfished. It lasted more than a year with some breaks. He came back a few times and each time it was more intense and at the end we even acted like a long distant couple. But what was different from a casual catfish situation is the fact that we actually face timed each other, talk for hours, and we both shared almost everything from each other lives. I got tired recently because I knew for a long time there was something off. I knew we will go for another break, and he would probably come back sooner or later, but I decided to finally check him online. He was honest in every aspect of his life; I knew really well how he looked like, and he told everything about his friends and family, so finding him was a piece of cake. But as I have predicted, he changed some details. To be more precise, he changed his name, and he was older that he said. It wasn’t a dealbreaker, the gap age wasn’t bad. I’m 23, he is apparently 31 not 25. But it all hit me. I felt used, lied, and I was mad. I didn’t want to let it go, I thought that he should know he is a liar and that his behaviour was completely stupid. Especially that he literally told the truth about everything else. I was only afraid that he may have a girlfriend because he had pictures with a girl on his Instagram, but he said ‘no’.

I decided to confront him. I felt secure doing it because now, he should be the one worrying about the consequences of his actions and not me. I know for a fact that he probably as well knows who I am, especially that we actually live less than 100km from each other, so for sure he made his research as well. I was even able to understand his lies because when we met online, he probably wanted to secure himself. We also met during the pandemic so at first, we probably thought our conversation would die after a month, but it lasted longer than we expected. It just flourished after some time, we clicked immediately and had a real connection. At least I thought so.

The confrontation went okay, he said he is sorry and that he wanted to tell the truth, but it was just too hard to do. I bet he understood his dumb actions, I hope he will learn the lesson. I didn’t know what I really felt, tho. We get really close, and we became a huge part of each other lives, but he didn’t want to continue it with his real personality even though only the name and age were changed. I guess he was ashamed and scared pretty much too. I can only imagine how the thing backfired on him, but I deserved the truth, and he should be aware of how his actions were immature. I deleted the account and snapchat after we had a closure. And even though he said the girl is not his girlfriend, I wasn’t so sure, and I didn’t want to be involved in any of these. But it made me question so many things, did he use me? Were his words even real? I guess we’ll never know. But moving on is rough after such thing, especially that I admitted we could somehow work it out, and I guess he wasn’t interested in that. Nevertheless, I deleted the app and I guess if he would be brave enough, he could just contact me on social media as he probably by now know my personality. I know he was using me as his safe place as he had his own problems, but doing it at my cost was really not okay.
Has anyone had the same situation? How you move on? Do you think the boy regrets, and he now understands how badly he has behaved?