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boyfriend friends with girl he used to get nudes from and obsessed over him, should I be uncomfortable?

hey everyone,

I just wanted to probe your guys' minds about a particular issue of mine I am having with my current boyfriend...

so the issue goes like this: my boyfriend has this friend of his that prior to our relationship he would receive a fair amount of nudes from (that he would accept happily and well… ya know), and would basically drool and obsess every waking minute over his existence in her life.
How recent were those nudes sent compared to when were a thing you may wonder? March of that year and we started dating September of that year…
How exactly did she basically profess her obsession/love for him you may wonder? Her social media accounts would never fall short of calling him “bestie/best friend” with heart emojis at the very least and sometimes the explicit phrase, “I love you” at times… all of these posts which he acknowledged and knew full well about…
He initially told me that he received nudes from her but that was all I initially heard of her. Later on after I did some of my own digging, I saw that it was far more than just nudes that were exchanged and that they would talk endlessly, sometimes quite late till the time he’d go to sleep, blah, blah, blah and that is when I found the numerous posts of him on her Facebook. Upon asking him about her, he would state that they weren’t much of anything (and acted like their friendship didn’t mean much to him), yet when I confronted him about the many posts she tagged him in, he acted shocked (even though he liked just about every one that mentioned him). This was my red flag and when I became uncomfortable about them ever hanging out… (like he pretended to be unaware of the posts, even though he knew about them)
I expressed this concern of mine to his, and he felt that there was no worry with their friendship (that he claimed wasn’t even that much) and that I didn’t have a thing to worry with.

My dilemma is this, whilst she may not be sending him nudes anymore since the relationship began and he told her not to send such content, I am still nonetheless uncomfortable at the idea of them hanging out when I consider the idea that he got off to photos of her…

so in new development, after he removed her from his Facebook because I expressed my discomfort, she then friends him and he happily accepts it, what?
Last edited by a moderator:

Lost Taurus

New Member
I could never allow my boyfriend to stay in contact with a girl who sent him nudes. BUT that is just me. The fact that you've expressed your feelings of your discomfort multiple times and he still accepted her request, leaves me bitter. As a guy he's probably thinking it's just Facebook/Friend Request whatever it's no problem. But in our head it's not whatever. I am not one to make a guy choose me or his girl friends but if it becomes a threat to me or our relationship, I'd give the ultimatum. OR I'd talk to him again and ask about it. If he doesn't understand that it's affecting your relationship then you need to let him go. Relationships should be about respect and he's obviously not respecting you by continuing to speak to her.
So guys, not like it matters much anymore at this point, but thought I might as well inform you with the most recent and last development on this situation.

we broke up.
While I am sad I wasted a year and three months with such a manipulative guy who treated our relationship like a meer game, I learned a lot of what not to do from this first, serious relationship of mine and feel so relieved I was able to cut things off before it was prolonged.


New Member
I am so happy to hear that you feel relieved. Believe me it's better that way, you will meet someone else that will treat you right!