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best jokes

#1
Write the best jokes you've ever heard :) :bounce:

Ok, let's begin:

On the night of their wedding a young couple finally retired to their hotel room. After making her preparations the bride came out of the bathroom to find the bridegroom on his knees in front of the bed.
- What are you doing? she asked.
- I am praying for guidance - answered the young man.
- I will take care of that - she replied. You pray for endurance.
 
#5
A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."

:D
 
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#7
lol, it's funny jokes.
I find someone it's makes me laugh here is it enjoy in it..
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'

'Mrs. Sanders, please.'
'Speaking.'
'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor James at Saint Agnes Laboratory.When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'

'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'


'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.

'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests once and once only.'

'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'

'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him
 
#8
Hi,

On the night of their wedding a young couple finally retired to their hotel room. After making her preparations the bride came out of the bathroom to find the bridegroom on his knees in front of the bed.What are you doing? she asked. I am praying for guidance - answered the young man. I will take care of that she replied. You pray for endurance.

Seo Service | Link Buliding India
Well.. actually that was my first joke posted here :]
 
#9
A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
 
#12
Q: Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?

A: They kept dropping their trunks.


Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?

A: With a tuba glue!


Q: What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

A: Nothing, but it did let out a little wine.


Q: What do calendars eat?

A: Dates.

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

A: Because it felt crummy!

Okay, I will quit these "crummy" jokes! *sigh!*
 
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