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Best friend

Courtneyc97

New Member
Hi I'm new to the forum and looked it up for a safe place to talk sometimes talking to my friends I know what they're going to say. I'm currently in a situation with one of my best friends who also happens to be someone I use to see. We haven't dated in almost 2 years and were only seeing each other a few months before it ended. We stayed really good friends after the break up and talk every day. He currently has a new girlfriend and baby. We dont see each other often and obviously haven't seen each other since lockdown. We've been speaking more often seeing as we have both been furloughed during the pandemic so have been messaging sometimes all day if we're not doing anything. Last night he called me and woke me up to say his girlfriend thought something was going on between us and didn't believe we were just friends and wanted to read our messages. He told her no as there are some private conversations about family issues I've been having over the past few weeks. He said that what we spoke about was between us but asked would it be okay if she did read them. I said yes as I didn't want to cause any problems. When I woke up this morning he asked to call again and he informed me that she had left when he got home from the walk he called me on, and had left him with the baby and had not heard from her since. He told me that they had been having issues and arguments alot lately which I knew about but didn't know the extent of it. He said the baby was really the only thing keeping them together and she told him he had to make a decision and that's why she left. I was confused by what decision he was supposed to make and it turns out that she told him he either stops talking to me forever or it's over. I told him to pick her obviously as they have a child together but he said no. He wouldn't make a dec6and couldn't believe she would make him do that. He gave her the same decision to make with her friends that dont like him and she said it wasn't the same. We've been best friends for 2 years now and I get why he doesn't want to give up on that cause we are so close. I've always told him that if she wasnt comfortable with our friendship and how we talk a lot I would understand. But I dont know what to do now. Shes came home now and he said he might be quite for awhile which I 100% understand. I've told him it's okay if this is what he has to do I dont want to ruin a family. I just dont know what to do if he does have to pick her and I lose my best friend hes been there so much for me, I've been sick for about 2 years now and have still to be diagnosed and hes been there for every hospital appointment and every test I've gone for I just dont know what to do if I lose him but know I cant be selfish. Was just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and has any advice on what to do?
 

Christinegirl

Well-Known Member
First, on behalf of everyone here at Girls Forum, welcome! ⛲

Secondly, please let me say what a thoughtful and considerate friend you are, putting the happiness of someone else before your happiness. You are a true friend to him (and I can understand why he doesn't want to lose his connection to you).

What I would recommend is (if you can), try to talk to his girlfriend so you can reassure her that there's nothing romantic between you and her boyfriend - you're just good friends. That way, hopefully she'll be comfortable allowing him to still talk to you (but maybe not "all day") and she can stay with him.

On the other hand, from what you've explained, she may be using you as an excuse because she doesn't want a family. I can understand if she left him because she thought he was (even emotionally) cheating on her but I find it interesting that she didn't take the baby with her. Maybe it wasn't convenient and she was only planning to stay away for a little while. But maybe being a "wife and mother" wasn't what she expected. (She may have post-partum depression, too.) If you do get to talk to her and it doesn't seem to help the situation, at least you know you tried. But I really hope you don't have to lose a good friendship, especially with your difficulties.

I know it's not the same, but if you can't talk to him anymore (or at least for a while), you can always talk to us, here. ☺
 

Courtneyc97

New Member
Thank you so much for this great advice!

I did suggest speaking to her to clear the air but he has asked me not to and to let them try and sort things out. She did appear home eventually late afternoon yesterday so we didn't speak much and he has explained he will be holding back a little with regards to our friendship. Which I understand I dont want to be the cause of my friends relationship falling apart when they have a baby.

I really appreciate that I can talk to you all on here that really will help escape everything x
 

Christinegirl

Well-Known Member
You're very welcome, hon.

He doesn't want you to talk to her? Hmmmm... It might be interesting to hear her side of the story. Maybe one day you'll get the chance.

It's so nice of you to not want to hurt/damage someone else's family. If their relationship falls apart, it won't be because of anything you did. It won't be your fault.

I'm glad you feel comfortable talking to us about anything. That's why we're here. :)
 

Courtneyc97

New Member
You're very welcome, hon.

He doesn't want you to talk to her? Hmmmm... It might be interesting to hear her side of the story. Maybe one day you'll get the chance.

It's so nice of you to not want to hurt/damage someone else's family. If their relationship falls apart, it won't be because of anything you did. It won't be your fault.

I'm glad you feel comfortable talking to us about anything. That's why we're here. :)
Thank you so much for the support!

I've managed to convince him that maybe even some time not talking will help their relationship even if it's just a few days or weeks. But am glad a I have somewhere to talk easily x
 
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