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Bad experience at work

cherryblossom

New Member
Hello girls!
Hope you’re all doing well!
Recently, I had interned for a startup. I was assigned a mentor (a guy) and it was work from home.
I had interned for a month and towards the end, the mentor asked me for a picture. I did not respond since my work did not require me to send him a picture. He asked me twice on a call and thrice via text.
He told me that he was told to ask for a picture of the interns working under him. My friend had interned previously with this company and nobody asked for his picture.
I had sent a complaint to the company and he is no longer my mentor.
I was initially offered recommendations by him, he later told me that since I complained against him, he won’t offer those anymore.
I wanted to put this out.
 

Rhonda333

Active Member
I think you erred when you refused to provide a picture. He was your mentor but he was also your BOSS. Lots of companies require photo id of their employees. It sounds like this company was proud to have their interns and wanted to display that. Also sounds like you are just entering the workforce. You better become a lot more accommodating to your employer or you are going to have very short job experiences.
 

Rhonda333

Active Member
That would rate a general answer from me - like Manhatten, but not specific so he could find you. I realize the need to be careful but you need to accommodate your employer. If there is any question, you should go to the HR person and get clarification. That's what they are there for.
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
I think you erred when you refused to provide a picture. He was your mentor but he was also your BOSS. Lots of companies require photo id of their employees. It sounds like this company was proud to have their interns and wanted to display that.
They didn't ask a man for his picture. If there was nothing wrong with this guy asking for a picture, why did the company remove him from mentoring cherryblossom!


You better become a lot more accommodating to your employer or you are going to have very short job experiences.
She better become... ? That's something I hear guys say when they want a woman to do something she doesn't want to do and shouldn't have to.

Watch your tone, please. This is a forum for women to feel safe to talk about their experiences - not to be verbally bullied. I'm not saying you are bullying, but please take care how you express yourself.
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
Hello girls!
Hope you’re all doing well!
Recently, I had interned for a startup. I was assigned a mentor (a guy) and it was work from home.
I had interned for a month and towards the end, the mentor asked me for a picture. I did not respond since my work did not require me to send him a picture. He asked me twice on a call and thrice via text.
He told me that he was told to ask for a picture of the interns working under him. My friend had interned previously with this company and nobody asked for his picture.
I had sent a complaint to the company and he is no longer my mentor.
I was initially offered recommendations by him, he later told me that since I complained against him, he won’t offer those anymore.
I wanted to put this out.
As you work from home, if your mentor/supervisor needs to see where you work (to possibly offer suggestions to improve your "workplace"), please make sure you have an older brother/father/boyfriend (and preferribly a nice big dog ;)) present - but don't tell the mentor this. If he's hoping to act inappropriately, and he knows someone else is around, he might eventually cancel and reschedule - possibly even suggesting that you be there alone so others won't be "distracting" when you and he are working together. Either way, make sure Spot is around and "he/she gets very lonely when they're not with you so they need to stay right by your side." ;)
Or maybe try to get a woman mentor. The thing is, most guys (hopefully) are okay and would never dream of harassing a woman, but it only takes one creep to ruin an otherwise fine situation.

Some guys want to know what a woman looks like because if she's not "pretty" enough for him to get an erection, he has no use for her. If, for example, you weren't his "type", he might have stopped (or at least minimized) the amount of recommendations anyway - using some other excuse as to why you weren't getting as much work anymore. And, of course, it would have always been "your fault".
Guys have been doing this since time began. Some men will even be open about it and say something like: "If you have sex with me, I'll help you with..." Most men who "blackmail" a person will usually be more subtle - but the woman knows what he means. One problem is: too many women did give in and did something they really didn't want to do - and the guy still didn't keep his word. (But he's a sexual predator - so he's possibly not trustworthy either.) And there's usually no way for her to prove that he took advantage of her - so he gets away with it. So I'm so glad you were cautious and didn't give the guy what he wanted. Well done!:)

If the company doesn't give you another mentor, maybe report the company to someone. Because don't be surprised if you're not the first intern he's tried his tactics on. And if other people have complained about him and the company still keeps him on the payroll, what's that saying about the company! And please tell the company what he told you: that he won't offer recommendations anymore because you complained about him. I think, in some states/some parts of the world, that's illegal - or at least it should be.
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
He had also asked me where I lived.
If he had only asked that, that would be one thing (seeing as you do work from home). But that in combination with him asking for your picture (multiple times) and lied about it, screams red flags!!

You work from home! It doesn't matter what you look like. It's not like you were going to work as a receptionist at the front desk and everyone who visited the company would see you first (so you'd be the "face" of the company).
 

Amily

New Member
Hi)

And what did the company answer? Were his requests to send the photo incorrect and therefore he was removed? Were they right, but he was removed because of a conflict with you?

If the first option, then you need to inform the company that he does not want to give you recommendations because of the insult to you, maybe сompany will somehow affect his actions.

In any case, you did the right thing, you do not have to tolerate what is unacceptable and unpleasant for you;)
 

Amily

New Member
Quite a strange situation.
Most likely it's something wrong with that guy. And the company just wants to avoid this unpleasant situation, because they do not want to damage their reputation. Maybe that's why they don't tell you anything.
In any case, be careful with these people, it is not known what to expect from them.
 

sandy brady

Active Member
I dont really think he did anything wrong, he is within his right to want to know the working environment and have a photo ID , not liked he asked for something inappropriate.
startups tend to have a close nit group so maybe he was being friendly.
I do think you should not take things to heart in these situations but then again it does depend on the intonation.
For example my line manager keeps bringing me turning my cam on , asking for a pic etc. I know he didnt ask the other girl in the group so i keep declining and he hasnt brought it up when there are third parties in meetings, so i know he shouldnt be asking
 
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