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Advice Needed


New Member
I am 17 years old. I started babysitting for a couple when I was 13 and after a couple of years I got a serious crush on the guy. He's in his mid-30's. A few months ago I started giving him little hints hoping he would notice. One night as he was taking me home he commented that I had grown to be a pretty young lady so I quickly told him he wasn't bad himself. He immediately ask if I would like to get together sometime so I told him yes. A few days later he call wanting me to meet him that evening. He took me to dinner then wanted to know if I would like to go somewhere and spend some more time together. Hoping he meant doing more I quickly agreed. He drove to the Holiday Inn and got a room. He didn't rush into anything so I kissed him and we started making out. It didn't take long for the clothes to come off with him giving some awesome foreplay. When he rolled over on top of me he hadn't put a condom on so told him he should probably use one. He said he didn't have one starting in me so I told him I was ok with it but that he needed to know i wasn't on birth control.. Nothing else was aid so I had my first experience of going all the way. It was definitely exciting. Now he wants to get together again. I don't want to turn him down or ruin the mood when we get together. If he doesn't have a condom I know I'll take another chance. Sholud I tell him to bring one and risk the chance he won't see me again?


New Member
Of course you should tell him if you dont wanna baby at 18!
And think once again about your relationship with,i think it's not gonna end well.
Last edited by a moderator:


Staff member
I don't think you should see him again, as a babysitter for his children or sexually.

What kind of man cheats on his wife?

How do you know if he cares about you or whether this is "just a bit of fun" for him?

Even if you didn't start out being in love with him, it's very possible you'll develop feelings for him. A lot of us women are wired like that.

What if his wife finds out? The wife may be the last to know but even she finds out eventually. What will she think of you (because it's often the girl who gets judged harshly in this kind of situation). Do you care that you're hurting another woman or have you already fallen in love with him?

Has he even gone out of his way to say he loves you? Lots of guys say it but they don't mean it, they just say it to "get into a woman's pants". It doesn't sound like he's even made the effort to say the words.

He possibly has no respect for you but is just using you as a free prostitute.

What if you get pregnant? Will he support you and your child or will he tell you to "get rid of it" (even if you want to keep the baby)?

How do you know whether he has a sexually transmitted disease or not? If he has sex with you, how many other women has he had sex with? Is sleeping with him worth the risk of possibly getting AIDS or venereal disease or getting pregnant?


sandy brady

Active Member
DEFFO tell him to bring a condom. no grown ass man should refuse that. ever. if he does, he s only in it for sex and he s not worth you

sandy brady

Active Member
A 17 year old has no business dating a 30 year old.
i do agree with this. not because of the age gap. but mainly because this man now has double your life experience, double the amount of time to have experienced everything a woman can offer pretty much. he s more likely to manipulate you even without your knowing(which from your description sounds like he already has).

SIDELINE... last summer I dated a 35 year old (am 23) and even though I do have a lot of experience ( and quiet frankly am smarter than him) i still caught him trying to manipulate me in more ways than one. he d try PDA eventhough he knew i didnt like it, he d choose a different movie than i wanted and BUY tickets for it... etc.

Save yourself the trouble, date someone your age. its okay to explore, but it just might get you hurt


New Member
I have to say that I have a personal bias against high age-gaps in relationships, especially if one is still a teen and the other person is an adult. But honestly, the fact that he didn't really care about not having a condom is a no-no, no matter what his age. Especially for his age, though. If he had intentions to have sex with you, he really should have brought protection. I say stay clear of this guy. He seems like he's only in it for one thing.

Zefi Styles ❤

New Member
You are too young to be with him. He has a wife and a kid. You have your whole life in front of you. But if you want to be with him, tell him to wear a condom. Ruining the mood is better than being pregnant at 17 with a 30+ year old that has a family. Think about it!