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21 and no body confidence

emmie101

New Member
Hi, my names Emmie, I’m 21 and weigh 10 stone. When I was younger I used to be 8/9 stone and fit into size 8’s. As I’ve got older and but my 20’s nothing seems to fit me. I’ve got 100’s of summer clothes but don’t wear them as I don’t like my legs or my arms. It’s 26 degrees right now and I have joggers and a jacket on. Idk how to love myself. I have a boyfriend who loves me just the way I am but it’s not good enough for me, I just feel so self conscious. Thinking there’s people like Kylie Jenner who are my age and I will never look like that. I just feel so sad and I’m on anti depressants and I’m not sure if this effects it. Please help.
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
It's very normal to feel self conscious when we're not comfortable "in our skin".
We may never look (what we consider) ideal but what I do is: I don't even look in the mirror. I wear clothes that I feel comfortable in, I eat what I want, when I want (always trying to eat healthily), I mildly exercise (for strength and flexibility rather than to burn calories), and I keep so busy focusing on interests, work, hobbies, etc. that I don't even have time to think about what I look like. :)

When we look at pictures of celebrities, sometimes those pics are altered so the person looks thinner than they really are. And they often have makeup artists, hair stylists, etc. to make them look as pretty as they do. If you saw them tumble out of bed in the morning, they might look more like us than we realize. ;)

If we've had a painful past, that can make a big difference in whether we have self confidence/whether we love ourselves or not. You can always talk to us, here, or maybe talk to a counselor - just in case there are unresolved issues in your past that you need to deal with. Most of us have some kind of baggage we need to work through. Please feel free to think of us as your therapists, too. Hugs!
 

Rhonda333

Active Member
Hi Emmie. I know a thing or two about confidence. When you have a background like mine if you don't have self confidence you are dead. So, how to get it? Focus on your good points- and you must have some- clear skin, long hair. shapely butt, nicely shaped lips. AS far as bad points like legs- you can change those too. I have been a runner since school and have been told I have really nice legs- you can too. Arms respond nicely to gym work and will acquire a nice shape and be pleasingly muscular with a little effort. You have to work at this dear!!
 

Christinegirl

Moderator
Staff member
Physical attributes are good but if someone has been verbally and emotionally abused (you're-no-good, you're-ugly, you'll-never-amount-to-anything, etc.), they could have a "perfect" body but they won't see it - which is why people who are anorexic often think they're fat.

It's important to take care of ourselves, be as healthy as possible, look as good as we can, but we need to be comfortable with who we are (with all our "imperfections"). Having body confidence has more to do with being emotionally and mentally healthy than with what we look like. (That's what I think anyway.) :)
 

Rhonda333

Active Member
She's complaining about her physical appearance specifically her legs and her arms. That can all be fixed if she's willing to work
 
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