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Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Uk, Yorkshire
Posts: 78,
I feel so guilty anyone have any ideas
how to stop this. To cut a long story short, when I was a teenager my big brother was in the army and he used to bring one of his mates home with him every weekend. I was 14 years old at the time and he was 16, I really had strong feelings for him to say the least but hid it for years. Anyway now 11 years later he decided to tell me that he has strong feelings for me and did then but was too scared to do anything about it, as you can imagine I have lots of regrets now, but I have been with my current boyfriend for 10 years and we're happy, but now I can't stop thinking about him and what ifs all the time. Anyone got any ideas how to stop it from ruining my relationship? I think he was my soulmate we both have so much in common
That's one of the most difficult questions I've seen here and I really do sympathise. Firstly, look at your ten year relationship. It must be really good to have lasted longer than some marriages. If you got together with your brother's friend, you have no way of knowing how long it would last. Imagine if you were with him for just six months. You'd have thrown away a solid ten year relationship and quite possibly also lost a friend. We all look back and think "What if?" about many things. But we need to remember that those things are in the past. Okay, this is one that you could do something about, but evaluate what you have to lose first. Sometimes the risk just isn't worth it. We all know the phrase about, "The grass is always greener on the other side" but that comes from a moral story that is designed to show that when you throw away something good, you end up regretting what you've lost. If you don't want this to ruin your long-term relationship, then say to your brother's friend that although you would have felt the same at one time, you don't now and that you'd prefer to either just stay friends or not see him at all. If he respects you, he'll leave it at that. If you simply can't do that and really want to get together with him, be fair and honest with your current partner and explain everything as calmly as possible. He might be upset, but it's far better than cheating on him. Good luck with all this and let us know how things turn out x
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Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Uk, Yorkshire
Posts: 78,
Thank you for your reply Cassie, I just needed to get it off my chest really, I've been bottling it up for too long. I do know that I am in a loving relationship and he is really good too me, the best boyfriend i've ever been with. We've also been through so much and come out at the other side as a couple so i'm just going not tell my brothers mate how I felt at all and just leave it how things are.
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Manchester, U.K.
Posts: 16,
Thanks Cassie For Sharing such a Great Advice With us I Found it really a very useful advice For Myself Keep Sharing..
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